Attached
by minty snacks
Summary: Kylo Ren trains to fight the girl who he thinks he might love. Rey trains to become a Jedi. Kylo Ren tries to find the strength to be better. Rey tries to find what's left of Ben Solo and draw it out of Kylo Ren. Post TFA - TLJ Alternative :) Please review!
1. preparations I

KYLO REN - Sunday

Kylo's head pounded as he quietly retreated to his quarters. Hux and Ren had been discussing battle strategies—well arguing about them—in the meeting room before he had to excuse himself due to a dreadful migraine.

He paced his room, the pain in his head becoming more intolerable by the minute. Someone knocked on the door, startling Ren. He strode over to his keypad and opened the door, exposing a man. The man, dressed in an officer uniform, spoke with little confidence.

"Supreme Leader Snoke would like to speak with you."

"Thank you," The man shuffled away, and as he went on, he seemed fearful and keen to get away from Kylo Ren.

Ren traipsed to the Throne Room uneasily. He took a left into a corridor with massive gates at the end of it. These gates filled the entire wall from left to right and extended as tall as the ceiling.

The gates opened while he was a few steps away from them. As Ren walked in, the guards straighten up, to defend against an unlikely attack.

"Kylo Ren," Ren bowed his head in greeting.

"Yes?"

"The girl, she has begun her training. Therefore, you must train as well," The girl he referred to was Rey. The girl that Ren had battled, the girl who bested him. The girl who inhabited his every dream. "She will become strong, her power will emulate your own. Your training will become more rigorous, but it is what you need."

Ren nodded, uncertain if there was anything he should say. He always looked forward to his training, and he especially did now.

"The training shall begin tomorrow."

"Thank you, Supreme Leader," Ren bowed as Snoke excused him from the room.

Back in his quarters, Ren took off his cloak and set it on the table. The pain in his head was nevertheless growing, getting worse with every dreaded step he took. Many thoughts filled him and his worries growing heavier as he sauntered towards his bed.

As Ren laid down, he wrapped himself in the warm sheets and bedding that had been spread across his mattress. The muscles in his body loosened for the first time all day and his concerns evaporated away. His eyelids became heavy, and as his breathing slowed, his eyes shut and he drifted off to sleep.

 _Ben opened his eyes. He was suspended in the air, and all he could see was darkness. He tried to twist and move around, but he was frozen. As darkness seemed to close in on him, the soft, caring, voice of a woman reached out to him._

 _"Come back, Ben," The voice sounded familiar, but he couldn't establish to whom it belonged. "Please, we need you."_

 _A few meters away, a light appeared. In his heart, Ben felt a pulling towards the light. He regained his movement and thrust his way towards the light, glad to think that he could evade the darkness._

 _Then, his movement ceased and Ben fell, his feet tumbling over his head and then his head over his feet. He let out a deep, blood-curdling, scream as he continued to fall. The light ebbed away as he got further and further away from it. The woman's voice spoke again._

 _"You can fight it, Ben."_

 _{-*-}_

 **Author's Note:**

 **I am so glad to _finally_ release this! I've been stewing on this story for a while, and now that I finally got my lazy self to actually write some of it, I'm glad to share it with you. This is probably going to be pretty long but I hope that you'll stick with me through it all. This is the first fan fiction I have _ever_ written, so I hope you like it. Thanks for reading!**


	2. unconcealed thoughts II

KYLO REN - Monday

Kylo woke up early to begin his training. He felt sluggish this morning but knew he had to train. Ren strolled to his closet picking out lighter-weight black trousers and a tight-fitting, black, sleeveless t-shirt. He grabbed his lightsaber and headed to the private training facility aboard the ship.

In the training facility, Snoke was awaiting Ren's arrival. He sat in a plush chair in the corner of the room. As Ren entered, he straightened his posture but did not stand.

Ren bowed, greeting the Supreme Leader.

"Hello, Ren," before Ren could respond, Snoke kept talking. "I'm eager to get on with your training, and I know you are as well

"Yes, sir," Ren nodded.

"I figure we should just do something light and easy today since I've given you a couple of weeks off recently. I hope you brought your lightsaber.

"Yes, I did," Ren said as he removed it from his belt. He flipped the lifeless hilt around in his hands and couldn't wait to power it on, it had been so long.

"Well, go on," Snoke said. Ren turned on the lightsaber and as the blade shot out from the top of the hilt and two smaller blades shot out from the sides, he felt the power surging through him. He spun it around in the air a few times. Wielding his lightsaber felt like second nature to him now.

As good as he had fought before and as hard as he had trained before, Ren's techniques were sloppy now. His blade sliced through the air, but not with the grace and power that it had before. He was tired and his movements definitely showed it

"Focus!" Snoke snapped at him. "You will not win a fight like this!" Snoke walked around Ren's figure, watching him closely as he slashed at imaginary enemies with his saber. Ren stopped his movement, his lightsaber inches away from his nose, and shut his eyes. Focus, he thought to himself. He reopened his eyes and spun his lightsaber around his head before slashing it down through the air.

"Better. Keep it up," Snoke said, this time a little gentler. Ren kept stabbing and slashing his lightsaber at invisible foes. He jumped back and twisted his body, avoiding pretend attacks.

After a few minutes, when he was panting and dripping with sweat, Snoke told him he could stop. Ren's lightsaber powered off, and he clipped it back onto his belt. He bent over, putting his hands on his slightly bent knees. His dark, sweaty, hair stuck to his forehead and the back of his neck. He straightened his posture, still breathing heavily, and put his hands on his hips as watched as Snoke grabbed a staff off the large rack of training weapons and tools. He tossed it to Ren, then grabbed one for himself.

"We're going to duel. I hope you're ready," Snoke said with a somewhat happy tone. He stood a few feet away from Ren, in a battle stance. Ren spread his legs a little further than shoulder-width apart and bent his knees slightly. He wasn't used to fighting with a staff and didn't really know how to grip it. He held it in his left hand, down to the side of his body. He reached up with his right hand and wiped the sweat from his forehead.

Snoke lunged at him, slashing his staff through the air. Ren held up his staff and blocked the blow. He stepped forward and made a stab at Snoke with his stab. Snoke jumped back quickly and Ren's attempts fell short. As they slashed and stabbed at each other, Ren thought about Rey. He thought about their battle, which he was still upset about. He thought about Rey's eyes and the way they had sparkled. He thought of her lips, and how soft they looked. He thought of her hair and how he'd love to run his fingers— _no, not now_. As he snapped back into reality, Ren's legs were knocked out from beneath him and he fell to the ground.

"You're thinking about the girl," Snoke accused. Ren dropped his staff and lowered his head.

"I'm sorry, master."

"You're dismissed. I hope you're more focused tomorrow," Ren knew not to reply. Instead, he bowed his head and exited the training facility. He felt shame for letting himself be distracted by her. Why had that happened? Those sudden thoughts of her were so out of context...

Back in his quarters, Ren stripped down and got into the shower stall. He turned the water on to a high temperature. It made him uncomfortable, but it did not burn him. Still thinking about Rey, he washed his hair and his body then just let the water beat down on him.

When he got out of the shower, Ren pulled on a pair of loose black pants for bed. He stood in front of his mirror, but instead of his own reflection, he saw someone else. A man with light brown hair and a scar on his eyebrow. A man with blue, piercing eyes. That man was Anakin Skywalker. He looked disappointed as if something had upset him. Ren bent down and splashed his face with cool water from the sink. When he looked back into the mirror, it was his own reflection staring back at him, and relief washed over him.

Once Ren had dressed, he sat down on the floor next to his bed. He closed his eyes and deepened his breathing. Behind closed eyelids, he saw a vision.

 _He was running through a forest, and he heard a rustling behind him. Behind him was a figure. The figure... it was him. The figure drew its lightsaber and so did Ren. Ren tried to block the blows, but the figure was too fast. It stabbed him, right in the stomach._

Ren's eyes flew open, and he gasped for air. He pushed himself up on his hands and tried to back away from the vision even though it was in his own head. This night was getting weirder and weirder for Ren, maybe it was just time for him to rest.

As Ren curled up in bed, his brain was overflowing with thoughts. He thought about the vision, about the mirror and the disappointed look on Anakin's face. He thought about Rey and his training. He wondered how her training was going, and if she was thinking about him. Finally, when his thoughts became too much, he pushed them away and closed his eyes. He soon drifted off to sleep.

 _Ben hit the ground with a thud. His head smacked against the cold, hard ground. Once he regained his composure, he stood up and looked around. All there was, as far as Ben could see, was darkness. He felt weary, and he did not understand what to do. He kneeled down and held his head in his hands. The woman's voice spoke again._

 _"You will always be your own worst enemy, Ben."_

* * *

 **Author's Note**

 **Hey everyone! I'm sorry about the wait with this chapter, I've been procrastinating! I hope you liked this chapter, it's for sure a lot longer than the first one! Please leave a review! Also, would you guys like to see a chapter about Rey in the future? Let me know! Thanks a million!**


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